Beard-A-Thon 2008


It’s that time of year again. As anyone who lives in an area with more trees than people, I am in the midst of my late season beard growth. Last year I made it to Thanksgiving before I decided to trim down to a sweet mustache (for five minutes). I’m hoping this year I can make it to Christmas, but I’m not making any promises. I’m clearly not a beard kind of guy with my lack of firearm skills and overall unwillingness to cutdown trees with an axe accompanied by Babe the Blue Ox.

I also apologize for my appearance being so similar to head coach of the New England Patriots, Bill Belichick, but some days you just need to look like an unkempt homeless person to feel comfortable.
I’ll try to give a bi-weekly update on the beard progress. This is why the internet exists.


Dear Teeth: I hate you.


Dear Teeth:
Hi Teeth! How are you? I’m doing pretty good. Wasn’t that a great meal tonight? Thanks for all the chewing and what not. You’re the best.
One thing though. You know those guys way in the back? No, not you molars, we’re cool. The one’s next to you. Yeah, those, uh, “wisdom teeth.” (Self-righteous jerks…) Well, it turns out they are causing some problems.
I know what you’re thinking, “Hey, wisdom teeth might have some problems, but they’re part of the team!” Well, guess what? It turns out we don’t even need them. Yeah, I don’t know if you noticed but there are 32 of you guys. Do you really think 28 is suddenly going to cause us to starve? Of course not.
With that said, I want to apologize for what is going to happen on Wednesday. It’s going to be crazy and probably a little scary for all involved, but it’ll be alright. I promise a steady diet of ice cream, pudding and apple sauce for at least a day. No work for you guys at all!
Please give my regards to gums, taste buds and hangey-down thing.